My lastest HuffPo piece, “I’m Not the Nanny – Darker Mom, Lighter Baby” has received many responses, generated some interesting dialogue and been highlighted in two HuffPo Live segments (The Problem With Calling Mixed Kids More Beautiful http://huff.lv/16Cgjag and Darker-Skinned Women With Lighter-Skinned Kids http://huff.lv/19LltRx). I wanted to share some people’s experiences and comments. Please feel free to check out the different feedback left here on my site as well.
From Huffington Post:
So yes, sometimes those comments are just people being ignorant, but let me tell you that you were spared a lot of hatred because your child has 2 black parents. We have come far, but still have a ways to go.”
“I’m mixed race and look like neither of my parents – my dad has blonde hair and blue eyes and my mom is chinese, but her skin is very dark. I look latina. My parents got married just so that it would be easier to travel with kids who look nothing like them. Once, while having dinner with my father, the waitress thought we were on a date!!! He’s only 45 years older than me! She thought I was his mistress or something. So awkward. My friend (white) married an east indian man and her daughter is very dark. She is constantly asked when/where she “got her”. She always bluntly responds “when she came out of my birth canal”. It’s kind of hilarious, and sometimes frustrating, but you just have to roll with it. Plenty of people look nothing like their parents, regardless of race. It’s just the wonders of genetics! I can’t wait to see what my kids might look like (one day). They’ll be four different races!”
As a Grandfather of a mixed race Grandson I’ve seen it. I’m white, but if I have him with me I get looks, and so does my daughter. When his Dad has him he gets looks as well since my Grandson is much lighter. Yes, I’m sure some from ALL races may have some issue, but most are simply comparing and in their own minds trying to figure it out, even if they have no issue with the answer.
We’ve ended up with a mixed race family where the Grandparents on both sides all get along great, jokes from BOTH sides, and 100% tolerance. We love them, they love us, and none of us cares if we get an odd look at times.
Love your son, teach him to be proud of himself and where he came from, and get off the paranoia unless someone directly discriminates or makes hurtful comments. You’ll both be better off.”