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Angela! Trying to find you on facebook is TOUGH! lets connect soon! great job tonight!!!!!
I truly understand what you’re saying. My daughter who is brown skinned married a white man and there daughter has her father’s color and blue eyes. We quit counting how many times in the grocery story that my daughter was ask if she was she the nanny or did she adopt her. It would really tick her off, all because she looked like her white father & had blue eyes. She’d respond in her “black voice” that it is her baby and that she had her and she looks like her father! Most of the time it was people the older generation that asked that stupid question.
It’s really interesting to hear everyone’s experiences – alike and otherwise. Sheesh. Thanks for reading and commenting.
My partner is a brown skinned, Indian ancestry, African born Muslim, I am olive skinned of mixed race, including black, white, native and French. My 3 children are 3 different shades, together the 5 of us are a rainbow of hues.
Sometimes I think we give people too much credit. I honestly think most of them are just plain stupid. When my oldest, (the darkest of us) was a baby I was only 23. I actually had people ask me if she had a daddy. I was never asked if she was mine, even though I look white and she looked brown. They took me for a teen mother, so having a child of a different race was expected.
When my second child was born (the lightest of us) 9 years later, no one ever asked if they were mine, but I was often asked if they had the same father. Either Sometimes because she was lighter, sometimes they’d say the age gap made them think it was a second marriage.
After having 2 girls, people see my boy and they say things like you must be so happy you had a boy, or you finally got a boy, as if that was my goal and my daughters were just a means to get my son.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is don’t give them so much credit for having the ability to think. When I meet people like this it makes me laugh, they give me stories to use in conversations. I feel sorry for them that their world is so closed and their minds are so little, they can’t think beyond their own sense of what a family should look like.
This also isn’t always just about race…I often get asked if my oldest and I are sisters. When people find out she’s my daughter, they say things like, what were you 13? I feel like thanking them for questioning my virtue.
It’s funny the way people think their image of who I am is all that counts, and if I don’t line up with their idea of who I am, they feel like they have the right to ask such personal questions. I just continue to group them together. Small minded idiots.
I am a chocolate brown AA woman and my husband is white. Our son is so light, he is literally lighter than his father…with blue eyes. Especially when he was younger, people would give me funny stares and ask, “THAT’S your son?” I would just smile and answer, “Yes, doesn’t he look JUST LIKE me?” When he was about 3 years old, he announced, “We have three white people (my husband, my daugher and my son) and one brown person in our family.” That’s when we knew we needed to discuss “it.” We identify our children as African-American…probably because the world does, although not everyone can see they are AA. I remember his 2nd day at a new high school…him running to bring me to his group of friends, “See man, I TOLD YOU I’m black; this is my mother!”